


Like You Already Knew

by cmere



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Anal Sex, Bartender Sirius Black, Bottom Remus Lupin, Cock Warming, Dirty Talk, Established Relationship, Except Voldemort; Voldemort Dies, Fluff, Happy Ending, Harry is a cute happy child, Light Angst, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Misunderstandings, Professor Remus Lupin, Remus Lupin & Lily Evans Potter Friendship, Smut, slutty Remus
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-23
Updated: 2020-11-23
Packaged: 2021-03-09 18:21:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,725
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27680627
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cmere/pseuds/cmere
Summary: Remus and Sirius; Sirius and Remus. It's always been the two of them, ever since Remus kissed Sirius on a cold winter's night their sixth year and finally put to rest the longing and uncertainty and intense, inscrutable looks between them. Sirius had kissed him back a sloppy mess, all tongue and gritty stubble, but Remus had helped him refine it over the months to come, when they'd kissed and kissed and kissed like they got the breath of life from each other's lips. Nobody knows Remus like Sirius does, knows his heart and mind and body and soul, his fears and insecurities, his hopes and dreams and desires. Nobody can pull Remus out of his head, can put him in touch with his body, can challenge his intellect and ideas like Sirius can.Sirius is his everything.What if, after all this, it's been nothing but a lie?An unexpected discovery causes Remus to question what he knows, but not everything is as it seems.
Relationships: Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Comments: 44
Kudos: 283





	Like You Already Knew

**Author's Note:**

  * For [PrefectMoony](https://archiveofourown.org/users/PrefectMoony/gifts).



> Enormous thanks to [Linds](https://archiveofourown.org/users/longleggedgit/pseuds/longleggedgit) and [Kathleen](https://tedddylupin.tumblr.com/) for betaing this for me!!!! <3 Obligatory note to say: fuck JKR!
> 
> The last time I wrote Harry Potter fic, the year was 2007. Quite literally the only person who could possibly drag my ass back into this fandom to write her a birthday fic is the most illustrious, charming, gorgeous, and hilarious [LEN](https://lupinmoons.tumblr.com/). HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY GOLDEN TWATTY!!! I am SO eternally grateful for your friendship!! Your love and support have made this year so much more bearable than it would have been, and you make me laugh like an idiot every goddamn day. I'm so grateful your ass was born!!!! And I truly hope you enjoy my humble offering of Wolfstar. :) <333333333

"Moony," Sirius murmurs, breath curling hot around Remus' ear as he climbs into bed behind him. He smells like whiskey and leather and sweat—that earthy combination he always comes home with after a shift at the Three Broomsticks. Remus makes a soft noise of acknowledgement, too tired to actually say anything or ask how work went. It has to be past three in the morning, and Remus will be the one heading to work in a few short hours; his Gryffindor Defence Against the Dark Arts students this year are extremely bright and extremely demanding, and he sees them at nine. 

Sirius' hand snakes around his hip bone, fingers pressing into the sensitive crease above his thigh. Then Sirius cups his cock, and Remus makes another noise. He's going for protest, but it comes out needy instead. He can feel the curve of Sirius' grin against his neck.

"Padfoot," Remus tries to say sternly, but it's more breathy than anything as Sirius' hand encircles him and starts rubbing. It's not fair how well Sirius knows his body, knows how and where to touch to fill him up with desire, even when it's the worst idea in the world. Sirius' lips find the soft spot just behind his earlobe, and the slick suction of Sirius’s mouth combined with the rough scrape of stubble against Remus’s neck is what causes his prick to twitch and start hardening in Sirius' hand.

"Very good, Moony," Sirius says, low, with a flick of his tongue against Remus' ear. "Full marks."

"Merlin, Sirius, you know I hate it when you—" Remus cuts off with a choked groan as he feels Sirius' erection press up between his arse cheeks. 

"When I what, Moons?" Sirius bites down now, and the sensation shoots all the way down Remus' spine; he starts thrusting slowly against Remus' arse. Remus' hand comes up behind Sirius' head, gripping his hair. Sirius flicks his thumb against the slit of Remus' cock, pressing in, and when Remus moans, he laughs. "Five years later and I still love coming home to you."

Remus sighs, contented warmth spreading through him at Sirius' words. As much as he appreciates getting a good night's rest and starting the day chipper, there's nothing that can compare to these quiet, moonlit moments together, the naked intimacy of shared space and shared breath and shared pleasure. After coming so close to losing Sirius in the war, Remus will never, ever take these moments for granted again.

He tilts his head back, searching out Sirius' lips for a kiss, which Sirius gladly provides. It's rough and loving, a mess of tongues and lips and teeth at this odd angle, but Remus is laughing into it, letting all the sensations start to build in layers deep inside. Sirius' body rolls behind him and Remus rolls with it; he can feel his breath coming quicker, can feel his skin sensitizing as he warms up to the arousal that Sirius always draws out of him with patience and care. Sirius rubs Remus' cock slowly, pulling Remus' head to side with his free hand and finding his neck with his mouth. He kisses down the column of it, wet and sloppy, and works his way back up with his teeth. Little noises are finding their way up Remus' throat and out of his mouth, high-pitched and pitiful, and Sirius chuckles in between nips and nibbles, occasionally punctuating the sensuality of it with a sharper bite. 

When Sirius lets go of his cock, Remus moans in objection. Before he can say anything, he feels Sirius' hand slip back over his hip, then then down the crevice of his arse. Sirius murmurs a charm, and Remus' face heats up in anticipation of what he knows Sirius will find. As if on cue, Sirius's wet fingers rub up against his hole, slipping easily inside. Sirius' surprised scoff only intensifies Remus' blush.

"Moony, Moony, Moony." Sirius' voice rumbles through his chest. Remus swallows down a whimper. "What have you been up to this evening without me?"

"I was—I just—oh, sod off, Sirius, you've been working every bloody night this week." The blaze taking over Remus' cheeks radiates up to the tips of his ears, prickles down his chest. "I do occasionally get lonely, you know." 

"A quick wank here and there, sure, but _this?"_ Sirius punctuates his question with an arc of his fingers inside, sending pleasure spiraling through Remus' limbs and making him bite into his pillow with a groan. "Tell me, Moony. What did you use?"

"It's the middle of the night, Sirius, can you please just get on with it?" Remus cringes a little, hoping Sirius will acquiesce to his pathetic dodge. Sirius only thrusts his fingers harder, deeper, causing Remus to rut back against him.

"I'll get on with it," Sirius murmurs, hot in Remus' ear, "when you tell me what you did to yourself tonight, my dear professor."

"Merlin, Sirius, this is entirely out of order—"

"Your arse belongs to _me,"_ Sirius growls. Remus quivers at the sound of his voice, the feel of his fingers pressing deep, the way Sirius' touch seems to reach so many parts of him all at once. "I want to know what you've been doing with it." 

"I don't think—" Remus cuts himself off with a choked gasp as Sirius stretches him wider; Remus doesn't know, isn't sure he _wants_ to know, exactly how many fingers Sirius has inside him right now.

"I can do this all night," Sirius says lazily. Nerve endings are firing inside and out of Remus, making him feel feverish and stupid. "Oh, I'm wide awake. I'd love to finger you right up until you need to leave for work in the morning and send you off with a kiss, gaping wide open and completely unsatisfied—"

"I started with my finger," Remus interrupts, voice trembling just slightly. He knows Sirius too well to know that it's not an idle threat. Sirius' fingers curve up, and pleasure sparks through him.

"Just one?" Sirius settles into a sweet rhythm fucking into him, finally. Remus' hips snap back to meet him.

"Just one. To start." 

"And then?" Sirius goes back to mouthing along his neck, kissing all the way to his shoulder, making Remus shiver with the softness of his lips and the rough scratch of his stubble.

"I added a second finger," Remus says hesitantly. He squeezes his eyes closed, wishing desperately he could cover his face, his embarrassment only tempered by the pleasure shivering its way over his skin.

"That's good, Remus," Sirius breathes before removing his fingers entirely. Remus whines at the loss; it feels enormous and tragic. He knows his hole is fluttering, seeking more pressure, but he's met with nothing. Sirius mutters the lubrication charm again. "And then?"

"Then I—I got the—you know." Remus' voice trails off, and he tries to rub himself back into Sirius' body, only to be met with a firm hand gripping his hip, keeping them frustratingly apart.

"The what? I'm afraid I've no idea what you're referring to." He can hear the smirk in Sirius' voice; it makes Remus want to slap him.

"You know exactly what I'm referring to, you prat." Remus wriggles his arse again, desperately seeking contact and failing.

"Ooh, prat? We're getting serious now, aren't we?"

"Sirius," Remus groans, his voice pathetic even to himself. "Get on with it."

"Say the magic word." Sirius smiles widely against his throat before grazing the skin with his teeth.

"Please, please, _please."_

"You sound positively beautiful begging, love, but I'm afraid that's not the word I mean. What did you fuck yourself with after your fingers?"

Remus lets out a high-pitched cry of frustration. "The dildo. I did it with the dildo."

"Excellent, Moony. Ten points to Gryffindor." Remus is about to tell him off for bringing his sodding job into it _again,_ but then he feels the blunt tip of Sirius' cock against his hole and he shoves himself back, out of patience. A choked puff of air hits the shell of Remus' ear. He grins as Sirius hoists his leg up farther, sliding fully inside him. Remus sighs in relief, shifting as he tries to get Sirius to move, but Sirius only says, "Did you want something, my sweet?"

"Sirius. I said what you wanted. I have to teach at nine in the morning. Please just fuck me already so I can go to _sleep."_

"Oh, is this some kind of hardship for you? Have we completely given up on spontaneous sex in our relationship? On _romance?"_

"You preening arse," Remus says, letting his eyes fall closed and resigning himself to going at Sirius' pace. "You proper slag."

"I believe you're the slag who was going to tell me exactly what you did with that dildo."

"Christ, Padfoot, you know what I did with it."

"Tell me, and I'll give you the best fuck of your life. Otherwise, I'm quite comfortable going to sleep like this."

"You are truly evil incarnate."

"C'mon, my darling professor. Give me the dirty details."

Remus shifts, trying to pull off Sirius' cock so he can fuck himself back on, but it doesn't work. Sirius is holding him wide open and controlling all their joint movements. There's a long pause; Sirius starts kissing his neck again, soft, tender kisses that send shivers through Remus' lower back.

"I shagged myself with it. I got on my knees with my arse in the air and shagged myself."

"Merlin and Morgana, you saucy minx," Sirius whispers hoarsely, then pulls back and slams into Remus once, _hard,_ before starting a rhythm of quick, bursting thrusts. "Did you use your hands or magic?"

Remus moans as Sirius' movements fill him with the blazing connection he's been craving this entire time, Sirius' body lighting him up inside.

"I started with my hands, but I...it wasn't enough, the angle was too—difficult…" Remus' breath is turning ragged again. He reaches up behind him and grips the back of Sirius' neck, looking for something to hold on to. "So I used a charm. So I could wank at the same time and grip the headboard like it was you fucking me."

"Yes, Remus," Sirius groans. "Are you going to wank now?"

"Yeah," Remus says, but it comes out strangled when Sirius hits the perfect angle and sends pleasure throbbing through him. "Oh, oh...Sirius, that feels good…"

"I want to see you touching yourself," Sirius growls, his breath coming hot and moist all along Remus' neck. "Show me what you did." 

"Oh, love," Remus moans. He grips his cock with his trembling free hand and starts rapidly jerking himself, flicking his wrist even faster than Sirius is fucking into him. He can feel the flush all over him, burning intensely with the embarrassment of it all, but Sirius is groaning into his ear, murmuring little words of praise.

"That's good, Moony, I love to see you touch yourself. You've been so good for me, I want to make you feel good too, Remus, you're bloody _perfect_ like this."

Remus' pleasure is building to a fevered knot inside him as Sirius thrusts repeatedly at the same angle, as his words wash over Remus like sweet caresses on his skin. Sirius trails off into low, incomprehensible grunts; for all his talk, he can never keep it going when he gets close. Remus tries to stave off his orgasm, wanting to draw it out as long as possible, for Sirius to pull every last bit of pleasure out of both of them. 

As much as he complains about being woken up in the middle of the night, about all of Sirius' teasing and embarrassing demands, he loves that Sirius still _wants_ him like this, even after all this time. From desperate, giddy handjobs in storage cupboards their seventh year at Hogwarts to desperate, needy lovemaking during the war to _now,_ when they can just take their time and have fun with it, Sirius has never stopped wanting him, and he's never stopped wanting Sirius. It's the most unbelievable, incredible feeling, finding this kind of closeness again and again and only ever wanting it more.

"Fuck," Sirius groans, rough and throaty, and Remus can tell he's coming by the way his hips give tiny, helpless jerks, by the warmth filling him deep inside. Remus clutches the back of his neck and squeezes his arse around him, slowing his own movements over his cock. Sirius pants in his ear, burying his face in Remus' neck before going still aside from his heaving chest, his trembling lips. This is the part Remus loves more than any other—Sirius at the height of it all, coming inside him, destroyed by pleasure.

"Don't pull out yet," Remus murmurs. He starts wanking again, moaning when Sirius lets go of the leg he'd been pushing up, lets it drop down, snakes his hand around Remus' waist and fits it over Remus' on his prick. Sirius' fingers are rough and callused, and he brushes Remus' thumb away to rub his own over the crown, scraping in the most incredible way. Remus moans; his hand falls slack and he lets it drop. Sirius takes over, finding Remus' earlobe with his lips, pressed up against him from his calves to his shoulders and holding his come inside with his softening cock. 

Remus' skin is highly sensitized and _everything_ feels good, so fucking good, pleasure hurtling toward that single point inside him until it tips. Tingly warmth spreads through Remus' entire body as he comes, shooting out to his limbs and making him shaky with it, taking his tensed muscles and turning them weakened, useless. Sirius holds him and kisses him and tells him he's beautiful, and once his quivering body subsides, Remus is struck with overwhelming exhaustion, the kind that comes with utter satiation and complete physical release.

Sirius starts to move back, but Remus reaches for his hip and holds him in place. "Don't."

"Yeah, Moons. Whatever you want." Sirius kisses lightly over his neck, finds his wand somewhere in the sheets and casts a quick cleaning charm over them, followed by a warming charm. Remus feels like he's wrapped in a cocoon, just him and Sirius, tangled up together and existing as one. Sirius' hand runs lightly over his chest, his hip, his stomach. "Y'know," Sirius adds, yawning, "if you're lonely while I'm working, you can always come down to the pub for a quickie."

"I'll keep that in mind," Remus murmurs, his mind hazy, halfway to sleep already. 

"Remus?"

"Yeah?"

"I love you."

Remus tilts his head back, meeting Sirius' lips in a soft kiss.

"I love you, too."

—

Friday night can't come soon enough. It's been a long week of difficult classes and mountains of grading, smart-arsed students who want to challenge everything just for the sake of it and behavior issues taking over half his lessons. By the time Remus is curled up with a book and a cup of tea in the squashy armchair by the fireplace, he's exhausted, completely drained. Thankfully, Sirius has been home the last couple of nights, off work and there to rub his shoulders and cook him dinner and hold him while he falls asleep, even though Sirius always ends up getting up again to do whatever he does after dark until the wee hours of the morning. 

The pub shifts have messed with his sleeping schedule, but Sirius doesn't mind. Every time Remus has tried hinting that he could find a job in a regular office with a nine to five kind of schedule, Sirius won't hear it. He loves tending bar because he's up and moving around, using all his jittery energy, chatting with the regulars and flirting with anyone who will look at him the right way. Remus knows it's exactly what he needs to be doing, because it keeps him busy enough not to let his demons from the war creep up on him, the knowledge of how close he came to losing everything. 

Remus has told him again and again that Peter turning wasn't his fault, Peter's disappearance not on his shoulders, but Sirius bears the burden anyway, because he was the one who suggested Peter become secret-keeper instead of him. He takes full responsibility for the fact that Peter gave up the Potters' location to Voldemort, and he won't hear it any other way. Remus has tried to tell him that in the end, it was for the best, since Voldemort died for good when the killing curse he cast on baby Harry rebounded onto him; he essentially saved the wizarding world, and no one had been hurt, with James and Lily sound asleep and unaware of Voldemort even coming in. But Sirius drowns himself in the theoretical scenarios that could have happened, the what ifs. 

Remus can't stop him from doing it, so all he can do is support him in staying busy doing the things he loves, like working at the pub and playing Quidditch with James and teaching little Harry how to fly. Harry will be a shoe-in for Seeker his first year, Sirius brags to anyone who will listen (and many who won't), even though he's only six years old and Hogwarts is still years away. Remus believes it when he goes out to the pitch with them, watches the hairpin turns and steep nosedives that Harry doesn't shy away from, delights in the triumph that crosses Harry's features—so like James'—every time he catches the snitch.

No, Sirius is much better off at the pub than working an office job. He'd undoubtedly end up staying awake all night anyway, slowly losing himself in what could have happened. And even though Remus always just wants more time with him, he loves having quiet nights at home to himself, as well, time to decompress and relax after a long week.

Tonight, though, he can't quite manage to enjoy it. He feels restless, something simmering under his skin, unable to stop himself from bouncing his knee and chewing his lower lip. He tries to read but finds himself getting to the bottom of the page without having taken in a word. He drinks his tea, but instead of calming him, it makes him antsy.

After forty-five minutes of trying to force himself to relax, Remus gives it up as a lost cause and jumps to his feet, Sirius' words echoing in his ears: _If you're lonely while I'm working, you can always come down to the pub for a quickie._ It's time, Remus decides, to find out just how sincere Sirius was about that offer. He throws on his coat, deciding to walk the fifteen minutes into Hogsmeade to try to shake off some of his weird, nervous energy. Dumbledore gave him special permission to live just outside the village instead of in the castle due to his condition, and he loves the little cottage he and Sirius have shared since the war ended.

It's a chilly winter evening, the wind whispering through brittle branches and the air crisp on his cheeks. Remus walks briskly to keep himself warm, but he can feel the pinkness on his face as he opens the door to the Three Broomsticks and the warm air envelops him. He's instantly greeted by Hagrid and a few other professors tucked into a booth, and he stops at their table for a quick hello before making his way to the bar. Rosmerta tips her fingers at him, finishing the drinks she's fixing before sidling towards him.

"Good evening, Professor," she says with bright eyes and a warm smile. "What brings you down to the pub this fine Friday? I thought you'd be at home."

"I usually am, but I wanted to pop in and surprise Sirius tonight. Is he in the back?" Remus cranes his neck to peer around her and belatedly notices her smile falter.

"Sorry to say, but Sirius isn't working tonight, love. Can I get you a drink anyway? On the house?"

"Did his shift get changed at the last minute or something?" Remus asks, his pulse quickening. Sirius had distinctly said, _Off to work!_ before giving Remus a lingering kiss on the mouth and disapparating; Remus is sure of it. But now he's questioning whether he could have heard him wrong, whether he's remembering another night instead, _whether whether whether._

"No, no, he was never scheduled to work tonight. It's just me and Marlene in the back, I'm sorry to say." Rosmerta does look sorry, a wrinkled forehead framing her beautiful features. Remus blinks several times, trying to make sense of what he's hearing. "Can I get you a drink? A firewhiskey to warm up?"

"No, no, thank you. I must have gotten something mixed up. I expect he's waiting for me at home, so I'll just nip back there. Have a good night, Rosmerta." Remus turns on his heel and hurries out the door before she can say anything else or before his colleagues call out to him again, then instantly disapparates back to their cottage, certain that Sirius will be there, ready to explain.

Remus soon finds himself alone in an empty house once again.

His head spins. There must have been some kind of mix-up. That's the only explanation possible for this. Sirius wouldn't lie to him—would he? He's never...he would never…

Remus flops heavily back in the armchair, distractedly waving his wand at the fireplace to light it. He tries not to let his mind run wild, but it's too late; once several dark scenarios have played themselves out in his head, he can't stop imagining them over and over again. 

Sirius with someone else, some beautiful woman or handsome bloke. Making him laugh, making his eyes light up, teasing him and joking with him. Kissing him, holding him, making love to him, the way he does with Remus. Bile rises quickly in Remus' throat; he puts his face in his hands, digging his palms into his eyes, but it doesn't stop the images. If Sirius lied about this shift, how many other shifts could he have lied about? How many other nights could he have spent in the arms of someone else and then come home to Remus past three in the morning?

Remus should check with James. It could just be a misunderstanding. Remus has been exhausted; maybe he heard wrong, or remembered wrong, or is just plain wrong. 

Remus really, really hopes he's wrong.

He tosses the floo powder in the fireplace and sticks his head in, clearly saying, "The Potters'!"

Lily answers with a smile. "Remus! So lovely to hear from you. How's things?"

"Things are...Lily, please tell me, have you heard from Sirius tonight? Did he...is he over there, or off with James somewhere?"

Lily's eyes go wide. "Sirius? Doesn't he usually work at the weekends? I would have thought he'd be down at the pub. James is here, just putting Harry in bed now."

Remus' heart is throbbing in his throat; he can't bring himself to respond.

"What's going on, Rem? D'you want me to call down to Rosmerta and see what I can find out?"

"No, no, that's not necessary, Lils. I've been there already tonight. But thank you."

"And he wasn't there?" Lily's eyes are darting back and forth across Remus' face. He was already starting to feel out of place in his own body, and having his head in the Potters' kitchen and his body at their cottage isn't helping.

"No. I...I have to go. Thanks, Lily."

"Remus—"

"I'll speak to you later," Remus says and pulls himself back. He collapses on the rug in front of the fireplace, heart pounding and sweat beading across his forehead. It's impossible not to imagine the worst. Sirius has never lied to him before—not like this. What else could it be?

It's a long time before Remus can pick himself up and drag himself to bed. He knows he's not going to sleep a wink, but he goes through the motions anyway, then falls on Sirius' side of the bed, shoving his face in Sirius' pillow and breathing in his scent.

Remus and Sirius; Sirius and Remus. It's always been the two of them, ever since Remus kissed Sirius on a cold winter's night their sixth year and finally put to rest the longing and uncertainty and intense, inscrutable looks between them. Sirius had kissed him back a sloppy mess, all tongue and gritty stubble, but Remus had helped him refine it over the months to come, when they'd kissed and kissed and kissed like they got the breath of life from each other's lips. Nobody knows Remus like Sirius does, knows his heart and mind and body and soul, his fears and insecurities, his hopes and dreams and desires. Nobody can pull Remus out of his head, can put him in touch with his body, can challenge his intellect and ideas like Sirius can. 

Sirius is his everything. 

What if, after all this, it's been nothing but a lie?

Remus keeps his head buried in Sirius' pillow. The tears he cries have long dried by the time Sirius gets home in the middle of the night. Remus is wide awake, but he keeps his eyes closed and his body still, feels Sirius climb carefully into bed behind him, a familiar arm tucking around his waist, a dry kiss pressed to his neck.

It's all he can do not to sob.

— 

Remus gets up early, extracting himself gently from Sirius' arms, careful not to wake him. Sirius is snoring; he always sleeps like a log through the morning hours, immovable and unaware.

Remus leaves a note in the kitchen— _slammed with work, gone to the office_ —and spends the day at Hogwarts, distracting himself with lesson planning and grading. His focus is intense, almost manic; he's more productive than usual, and he gets several weeks' lessons planned out before he realizes the sun is already fading in the winter sky.

Finally, he sits back in his desk chair, letting out a long, slow breath that feels as weighty as the moon's gravitational pull. Everything hits him at once, and the determined avoidance that had been working as a strategy all day suddenly feels impossible. How is he going to go home and face Sirius? Face the _reality_ of everything? One conversation, and his entire life could change.

Remus can't do it; he's not ready. 

He stops by the Owlery to send a note home that he's going to Lily's for the evening, then apparates to the Potters'. With a six-year-old in tow, Lily and James are reliably at home on a Saturday night, and James welcomes him in with a slightly confused but overall genial look.

"Uncle Remus!" Harry sprints over to him, instantly clinging tight around his waist. "Did you come to go flying with me and Dad and Uncle Sirius? They're taking me out to the Quidditch pitch for practice! Oh, please say you'll come!"

"Oh," Remus says with wide eyes, glancing between James and Lily. James shrugs; Lily gives a slight grimace. "No, Harry, I've got to stay back and chat with your mum...if that's all right with her," he adds hastily. 

"Of course," Lily says, and her expression turns to concern, a furrowed brow and soft green eyes, big and round. "You can help me prepare the soup to warm the boys up when they get back from practice."

"Go gather our brooms, Harry, that's a good chap. I'll be there in just a second," James says, patting Harry on the shoulder before fixing his steely gaze on Remus. Remus looks down, abashed. Once Harry's out of the room, James and Lily round on him. "Moony. What's going on? Padfoot didn't mention anything about you coming over here."

Remus rubs his forehead, runs a shaky hand through his hair. "It was kind of a...spur of the moment thing. I've been working all day, and I was just...hoping to chat with Lils before I went back home."

James looks unconvinced, but Lily steps in. "Of course that's just fine, love. James, go on, enjoy yourselves. Send word when you're on your way back, won't you?"

"Will do," James says, then claps Remus on the shoulder and gives Lily a quick kiss before following Harry out of the room.

"I hope you're ready to work," Lily says sternly, but she's smiling, full of kindness. "There's lots of chopping to do."

"I'll do whatever you need," Remus says, utterly relieved at the prospect of being alone with her. He should have come here straightaway; Lily always knows how to set him right. "I just...need to speak to you about something private."

"Come on, then. Let's go to the kitchen and I'll fix us some tea."

Within minutes, Remus is settled in at the counter with a cuppa, several knives chopping vegetables by magic in his periphery while Lily prepares the stock.

"What's going on, love?" 

Tears spring to Remus' eyes at the concern in her voice. Having to say this out loud makes it so real. He takes a shaky breath, then another; it's only when he feels a hand on his shoulder and looks to Lily at his side that he finds the courage to speak.

"I've...I'm...Merlin, I don't know how to say this." Remus grips the countertop to steady his hands.

"Start at the beginning."

"Right." He lets out one more sigh. "I was home last night, you know, and it had been a long week, and I was looking forward to doing a bit of reading and going to bed early. But I couldn't quite relax and I decided to surprise Sirius at the pub, just...stop in for a drink. So I walked over, and when I got there…" Remus' voice goes faint. It's all he can do to force the words out. "Sirius wasn't there. Rosmerta told me he was never scheduled to work last night. But he told me that's where he was heading, I'm sure of it. I remember it specifically. So I don't know...I don't know where he was last night, you said he wasn't with you and James, and he came home at some point but I pretended to be asleep, and I went in to the office early this morning to avoid talking to him, and I've been working all day until I came here. I just don't know what to do. I can't even...think about the possibility that he could be…"

"Remus, no. Stop this nonsense right this instant," Lily interrupts him, her voice firm. "Sirius Black has loved you since the day he met you our first year at Hogwarts. I have never seen a shared love and understanding like the two of you have. Whatever's going on, he's not running around behind your back. It's not possible."

"What else could it be?" Remus cries, tears leaking out the corners of his eyes. He swipes at them, frustrated, then notices the knives he set chopping are going at a maniacal pace, tearing the carrots to shreds. 

_"Finite,"_ Lily says quietly, waving her wand. The knives clatter down to the cutting boards, and Remus leans heavily on the counter. Lily continues, "I'm...not sure. But I know it's not that. I know it down to my bones, Remus."

"I thought I knew. Before this, I never would have thought...it never would have even occurred to me to think. We've always been so happy, at least since the war ended. But what else could it possibly be, Lily?"

Lily crosses the room, pulling Remus to the kitchen table before opening a cupboard above her head and bringing down a bottle of firewhiskey along with two short glasses. She fills them with a generous pour, then sets them on the table. Remus settles into the built-in booth, grateful for the feel of solid wood at his back, holding him up when he's not sure he can do it for himself anymore.

"There's a reasonable explanation for this. I'm sure of it." Lily holds her glass up, and Remus tips his against it before tossing the whole thing back. The drink sears down his throat, settles hot in his stomach. "But you've got to deal with it instead of running away. You've got to talk to him, Remus."

The firewhiskey turns sour in his gut. "What if...Lily, what if he lies to me? He's already lied to me. How am I supposed to believe what he says?"

Lily refills their glasses, looking like she's steeling herself to say something before an owl taps on their window, interrupting. Lily lets it in, taking the note tied to its leg and reading it with a frown.

"It's James. Sirius wanted to make sure you're all right."

Remus looks at her, helpless.

"Remus," Lily says firmly, "I'm happy to have you here this evening, but I am going to send you home later to talk to him. Do you understand? You can't go on like this."

"Fine," Remus says, sullen and petulant, aware that he sounds like one of his whiny students but unable to bring himself to care. He throws back the second shot of firewhiskey, welcoming the tingle that flows down his chest, the warmth that makes him feel at least somewhat alive.

Lily writes a quick note on the back of the parchment, then sends the owl back off with it and reaches to clasp Remus' hand.

"Remus. I love you, James loves you, Harry loves you, and most importantly, Sirius loves you. More than anything. And I know we both ended up falling for complete berks, and that's on us for giving in to all their sodding charm and innocent smiles and the evil gleam in their eyes that we know will get us into trouble, but Sirius would never betray you like this. I know there's a reasonable explanation, and I know you're strong enough to go ask for it."

Remus nods slowly, squeezing her hand. He lets out a slow breath. "All right. I can't say I feel good about any of it, but you're right. I need to talk to him."

"Good." Lily squeezes his hand back. "Now, are you going to help me with this soup or not?"

With the drinks and Lily's distracting chatter, Remus is able to warm up throughout the night, feels the sick twisting in his chest start to unfurl. He's even able to laugh a little as Lily goes on about Harry's most recent mischief. The firewhiskey numbs him pleasantly at first, but as it clears, some of the fog clouding his mind clears as well. He's starting to feel ready to go home and face Sirius. He might not have Lily's complete confidence that nothing odd is going on, but he deserves the truth, and he can demand it from the man he's spent his life loving.

Another owl appears just as they're washing up, the soup on the stove with a warming charm; Remus assumes James and Harry should be back any minute. Lily's eyes go wide when she reads the note.

"Oh, Remus—it's Dumbledore, he's asked for you at the castle immediately—"

"What? What on earth for?" A different kind of anxiety works its way into Remus' body. He doesn't think he has the wherewithal to deal with a Hogwarts crisis right now, but he could never say no to Dumbledore.

"It doesn't say, just that it's quite urgent. Why don't I go with you?"

"Yes, all right," Remus says distractedly. "Thank you, Lils."

They apparate to the closest spot they can, then hurry up the drive, passing the gates and making their way up the hill. When they enter through the large, imposing front doors, they find Professor McGonagall in the entryway, looking harried.

"Oh, very good, Professor Lupin. I'm so glad you could come. They'll need you up in the Astronomy Tower posthaste. Lily, if you wouldn't mind, a word?"

"Is that all right, Remus?" Lily looks at him, and Remus nods.

"Yes, of course. I'll just—hurry up there. Thank you, Professor."

Remus leaves them and starts climbing, and climbing, and climbing, making his way up the winding, moving staircases, hurrying down the corridor only to continue climbing again. Finally, he gets to the entrance of the Astronomy Tower, panting for breath with sweat trickling down the back of his neck. The mixture of exercise and anxiety is making his heart rattle. He has absolutely no idea what he'll find, but he's certain it won't be good; Dumbledore would only send for him urgently on a Saturday night in the most serious of circumstances. He can only hope it's not anything werewolf-related. His emotional capacity for that is nonexistent in the best of circumstances.

He grabs the doorknob, cold on his fingers, and slowly pulls it open, expecting the worst. What he finds is...nothing. Absolutely nothing and no one.

Remus walks forward, looking around curiously, his anxiety turning to confusion. Could the situation have moved elsewhere? How is he supposed to find them if Dumbledore didn't leave word? He listens carefully, drawing his wand and trying to pick up on any sound, but he hears nothing.

All of a sudden, there's a flurry of movement as someone jumps out from behind the pillar.

"Surprise!" Sirius shouts, a gigantic grin crossing his handsome features. Remus lets out a small shriek.

"Merlin's _balls,_ Sirius, what on earth—"

"Are you surprised?" Sirius says with a sly look, walking over and taking him by the hand, pulling him toward the center of the space.

"I'm in shock. What on earth are you doing here? Where's Dumbledore? I almost jinxed you." Remus' mind is whirring, trying to catch up, trying to figure out what could possibly be going on, but he's drawing an utter blank. His heart is pounding even harder than before. 

Sirius lets out a loud, belly laugh. "Oh, that'd've been rich. Cursing me now of all times."

"Why ‘now of all times’?" Remus' panic is starting to build up, faced with Sirius when he least expected it and the knowledge that he'll have to confront him soon. Did Lily _know—?_

"Remus John Lupin," Sirius says, turning to face him, taking his other hand as well and looking down at him with a grin. "My Moony. Light of my life. Love of my heart."

Remus feels the words like an ache taking root in his heart. "What is this all about, Sirius?"

"Just give me a moment, won't you? Let me get this out." Sirius takes a breath, and it's only then that Remus notices his lower lip is trembling. "The day I first saw you. The first of September, 1971. The day that changed my life forever. Not only because I was finally breaking away from my rubbish family, going to Hogwarts, becoming the wizard I wanted to be. But because I met _you."_

Remus is speechless, staring at Sirius now with his mouth wide open, unable to fully process what’s happening.

Sirius continues, "My Moony. Since that day, every stupid, outlandish, frankly idiotic thing I've ever done has been to try to get a glimpse of your smile. To hear your laugh. Your loud, honking one where you sound like a seagull swooping in to catch its dinner. To know that I can make you happy, even for a moment, an instant. Somehow, you let me." Sirius' eyes soften as he gazes at him. "All through school, you let me make you laugh, and you kept letting me after. And I've no doubt that that war would have sucked all the life, all the joy out of me if you hadn't been there to keep me not only alive, but _living._ To keep trying to hear that laugh, the one sound that can take every terrible thing that's ever happened to me, and...not make it okay, but make it bearable. Because it means you're by my side."

"Sirius," Remus says, the barest of whispers. None of this makes any sense, but his entire body is filling with a light, buoyant sensation, like he might lift all the way up and float away into the dark sky. 

"It's been nearly ten years since you first kissed me. It was _supposed_ to be ten years to the day when I did this, but you started poking around and getting suspicious about what I was up to, and I suddenly had to scramble to move everything up to tonight when I got an emergency note from Lily that you were thinking the worst."

Remus gapes at him. "Wait a second—you mean you've—"

"Please, Remus, let me finish." Sirius gives him a small smile; Remus' heart is so full, he's sure it's about to explode. "It's been nine years and fifty-one weeks since you kissed me, right here in this very spot on the tallest tower. You grabbed my jacket on either side and pulled me to you and kissed me like you already knew. That you loved me, and I loved you. And maybe you did."

Sirius lets go of one of Remus' hands and slides his wand out of his pocket, raising it in the air and murmuring an incantation Remus isn't familiar with. Suddenly, the brightest star in the sky grows even brighter, and it's moving, circling around the tiny sliver of moon visible, forming a full circle. It glows and glows, then sinks down, coming towards them, shrinking and hurtling forward at light speed. Sirius holds out his hand, and Remus stares in complete awe as the now tiny, glowing ring settles on his palm.

"I have loved you since the day I met you, and I'll love you for the rest of my life. I want to spend it making you laugh every single day. Making you smile. Making you happy, and making sure you know that you are loved. You will always be the sliver of moon that lights my way. Please let me be the star that guides you home." Sirius sinks to one knee, and Remus can't help it—he actually gasps. "Remus John Lupin, will you marry me?"

Remus can only stare. "Sirius, you—you've been planning this?"

"Of course I've been planning this. Needed some time to come up with the magic, which I've been working on with James as often as possible, including last night. Just perfected it, actually."

"That's what you were doing last night?" Remus cries. "You were with James, working on magic...for _this?"_

"Of course. What else would I have been doing?"

Remus grabs Sirius by the biceps and pulls him to his feet, throwing his arms around Sirius' shoulders and pressing his face into Sirius' neck. Overwhelming relief and gratitude and _love_ flow through him, from his head to the tips of his toes. Remus can't believe he ever doubted him.

"Moony?" Remus pulls back to look at Sirius, who smirks at him. "I'm still waiting for an answer."

"Yes, you idiot," Remus says breathlessly, then crushes their mouths together, kissing Sirius with every pent-up emotion that he's experienced over the past twenty-four hours. Sirius holds him tight around the waist, keeping him close, keeping him warm and protected and safe.

When they finally pull apart, Sirius brings his arm between them, holding the ring up. "May I?"

Remus holds out his trembling hand, in complete disbelief as Sirius slides the glowing ring onto his finger. The brightness has settled, but it's made of something Remus has never seen before and shimmering in a way he can't possibly understand.

"It's made of moonlight," Sirius says with a pleased smile, as though he can hear Remus' thoughts, "and starlight, from the dog star. Combined and enchanted into a solid material. Do you like it?"

Remus can't bring himself to speak. He's never had a positive association with the moon before, but now— _now_ —he knows without a doubt he'll always think of it as the piece of him that lights Sirius' way. Home, back to Remus, where he belongs.

Remus kisses Sirius again, slow and lazy and full of heat. If he was buoyant before, Sirius fills him back up until he's weighty and full, settled firmly on the ground with two feet.

Loud cheers break out from the doorway, and Remus pulls back, laughing, to find James, Lily, and Harry rushing towards them. James has got a bottle of champagne he's already uncorking with the tip of his wand, whooping as he produces glasses from nowhere and pours it out. Harry runs right up to Remus and Sirius and throws his arms around them.

"Uncle Remus, Uncle Sirius, please, can I come? Please, please, _please_ can I come to the wedding?"

"Of course you're coming," Sirius says, swiftly picking Harry up and tossing him onto one hip, slipping his other arm back around Remus' waist. "You'll be our ring bearer, won't you?"

"I'll have to ask my mum and dad for permission first," Harry says seriously. "I'm not sure if I'm old enough to be a bear." Remus and Sirius burst into laughter; Remus can hear himself honking and sees it reflected in the sparkle in Sirius' beautiful eyes.

"Sirius," Remus says softly, trailing his hand up Sirius' back and threading it through his hair. "I love you."

"And I love you, Remus. Always have, always will."

Remus leans forward for another quick kiss. Harry interrupts with a loud, _"Ew!",_ squirming his way out of Sirius' arms and running back to his parents. "Mum, Dad, they're kissing! Can I be the ring bear? Can I? Can I? Since Dad gets to be a stag, and Sirius gets to be a dog, and Remus gets to be a wolf?"

Remus turns into Sirius, gazing up at him. Sirius looks back, no trace evident of the hauntedness that often hides in the depths of his eyes. Remus knows it's not gone forever, but it feels good to know that it's gone for now.

And they'll have the rest of their lives to figure out how to keep it that way.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments are amazing!! I'm on [tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/omgcmere) and [twitter](https://twitter.com/cmere) (admittedly not for Harry Potter content, so be warned :D)


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